Salt and Bruises

I may be just too clumsy to keep my footing on the metaphorical rooftop.  Maybe I should invest in some metaphorical rock salt (non-corrosive of course) and metal cleats. Now where do I get those?

This past week has been a whirlwind of absentmindedness and clumsiness. The beginning of this unfortunately physically painful week started Friday night—at a party. After a round of margaritas, wine tasting at Whole Foods, a few beers at my place, one at a Mexican restaurant, I made it to a party at 10:00 p.m. 

I went around yelling at the guys using the side of the house as a urinal, sabotaged a 100 piece puzzle featuring puppies and flowers and had a conversation in Spanish with someone who clearly didn’t speak Spanish. I left him and burst through the front door just in time to here a guy ask “Where’s that saucy friend of yours?” Then BOOM. I was on the ground. “There she is,” my friend said.

That Monday, poor navigational skills caused me to miss the first writer’s meeting for a newspaper that recently asked me to do freelance. A few days later I slipped down 15 icy steps that lead from my backdoor and bruised my hip. I sliced my finger open while opening a bottle of wine and then again when opening a bottle of heart-shaped sprinkles. 

Oh, and I have a double eye infection.

It’s important to be able to laugh at yourself and perhaps learn from your mistakes. The events of last Friday reminded me why I do not drink to that degree often and usually just enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. I used to be completely against drinking and I started mostly due to boredom at the small Jesuit college I first attended. Sometimes I wonder what college would have been like without drinking?

I am not classified as a college binge drinker nor do I wish to be. I actually do not enjoy parties and rarely bars. I do prefer a small gatherings with a few good friends and a board game. I guess realizing this is part of maturing, and unfortunately I had to experience many instances of this ‘realization’. I'm turning 22 next week and the social drinking chapter of my life is slowly closing. I just don't enjoy it.

Ah, but its not healthy to dwell on failures. In other news I have successfully been a vegetarian for a week! You didn’t know I was trying did you? I’ll be sure to update more on that soon. I also have successfully cut my bangs into a stylish ‘side-sweep’ thanks to the wonders of instructional YouTube videos. Last time I tried to cut my bangs it was an utter failure. 

Luckily bruises disappear, cuts heal and bangs grow back.

I'll leave you with an interesting thought: Self-sabotage is the smartest thing you can do if you're sabotaging a self that is not really you. ARMAND DEMELE